Thankful, next!

Today I woke up with good news. One of my college best friend has bagged the job she was applying for. I was happy and proud of her. I only want the best for her and I know she wants the same for me. But I kind of felt sad. Yes, sad because I was supposed to apply for another job position at the institution she had applied for. We could have been workmates. We’d see each other at work and we could daily hang out! But alas, I was lazy and procrastinated complying the requirements.

What I am going to say may sound like an excuse.  But I do believe if it’s for you, it’s for you. The whole universe will conspire and give you hints (many hints) that you should grab the opportunity. Everything do happens for a reason. But the timing is being set to be perfect. It happened to me a long time ago. Now this is really sounding like an excuse. Is it weird that I am still relying to that belief? Meh. We’ll see. Sometimes fortune favors the brave. 

I am happy and thankful. I am getting back into the light. I love writing down now my feelings. Even though my writing is everywhere like my brains. I just want to vent out and see my thoughts in writing. I want to improve in a daily basis. See what needs to be done and needs correcting. To finally understand my own feelings and how to face and manage them. Both writing and being at peace.

My SO is right. I have nothing to worry about. If I can’t figure it out right now. Someday I will. But I don’t need to fret and get anxious. I am blessed. I have a free roof over my head. I sleep in a comfortable bed. I get free lunches. I have clean water to drink and for bathing. I have gadgets. I am not sick. I can walk, talk, and move freely. I have family and friends that loves and supports me unconditionally. I have an SO who saw me breakdown and be a monster but still is here and is loving me more.

There’s nothing to worry about. I’ll get there someday. I’ll just enjoy the journey while heading to my destination. Planning is good because I have goals. I’ll just try not to overthink them (hopefully!). The key is just to keep moving forward.